Halloween has come and gone and left me with a new perspective on parenthood and my journey as a woman moving through my life. See for me this was my first year not rushing home to get my daughters ready to trick or treat. I have a sophomore in college and an 8th grader in middle school. This year my youngest daughter had other plans that involved her going home with a friend and trick or treating in a neighborhood other than my own. I woke up on Halloween morning to a page full of past Facebook Halloween memories. As I scrolled through the memories filled with snaggletooth smiles and dozens of costumes between the two of them over the years, my heart sank. Where had the time gone?
I fought crazy traffic after leaving work and came home to a quiet house. My husband had picked up candy for the trick or treaters earlier that day. It was my first time being home to greet the trick or treaters as I always took the girls out and hubby stayed behind. It was so quiet and empty. I texted my youngest to see how things were going and reminded her that I needed to see a picture at least. I checked in with college girl to see what her plans were and I received a selfie of her with the caption “I am a tired college student #spooky”. This new normal is very hard at times for sure. I hugged my hubby for comfort and we settled in to welcome the trick or treaters. My dog comes around the corner and I had a light bulb moment and found a costume that I picked up a few years ago and wrestled him down to take a few pictures. He was not happy, but I felt so much better.
As the evening went along I got to see all the little neighborhood kids at the door and the proud parents. I reflected on my experiences with my girls and I realized that I tried to do too much and was often not fully present for many wonderful moments. I was that busy super mom juggling a million things. In our country, we fought hard for women’s rights over the past decades to be equal to men. I think we swung way too far over to the other side. We have this new badge of honor that we wear that is celebrated when we are slaying it as women, crushing goals and the myth that we can have it all. All the while we are more sick, tired, depressed and not living in the moment. Yesterday was a huge reminder of the importance of being in the present, taking things off our plates and slowing down as women and especially moms. I never thought of the day my girls would become more independent or the day they would leave the nest.
This past year of transition has left me feeling lost, filled with anxiety, depressed, unmotivated and just not myself. I am in the process of healing, practicing more self-care and redefining who I am as a woman now that my roles are changing. I look back and realized all the balls I had in the air are not as important as the quality time spent with my kids when I was not super stressed, worn out or distracted. Yesterday was a reminder that we are constantly evolving and change is happening all around us. On this week’s Empower Hour I want to remind everyone to drop a few balls every day that you are trying to juggle to make room to fully embrace the special moments in life!
Here are some great tools to learn to do less, be more present and drop more balls:
- Drop the Ball: Achieving More by Doing Less: by Tiffany Dufu
- Own Your Glow – A Soulful Guide to Luminous Living and Crowing the Queen Within: by Latham Thomas
- Oprah & Deepak Chopra Making Every Moment Matter 21 Day Mediation Series (https://chopracentermeditation.com)
Celebrate Life Every day!